Der Untergrund

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Die Linien, Bahnhöfe und Zonen von London Underground, London Overground und Docklands Light Railway (DLR).

Als Klassiker des Designs macht die U-Bahn-Karte das Fahren im Londoner U-Bahn-Netz denkbar einfach. Diese übersichtliche Karte enthält einen Schlüssel zu allen eingezeichneten Stationen sowie die 6 Gebührenzonen.

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Botanic Gardens Dublin

Botanic Gardens_HDR, originally uploaded by roryhogan.

My good buddy Rory Hogan is a talented photographer and has some outstanding photos on Flickr. My own favourites are his superb studies of one of my favourite places and a childhood haunt in Dublin, the National Botanic Gardens at Glasnevin.



>
http://daithaic.blogspot.com/2008/01/botanic-gardens-glasnevin-dublin_31.html

For more gardening Blogs see on my Blog Sidebar under "Hortus Praetorius" - Latin for "Head Gardener"!

Look up Rory's work on;



http://www.flickr.com/photos/roryhogan/



One of the undoubted unsung joys of Ireland’s Capital City of Dublin are its delightful Botanic Gardens set in its Northside suburb of Glasnevin around 3 miles from the city centre. Glasnevin is a village which was been swallowed up by the city’s expansion in the 1900’s but still has much charm and character due to its setting along the Tolka River and numerous historical and literary associations including with the poet Joseph Addison and the satirist Jonathan Swift, Dean of St. Patrick’s Cathedral and author of “Gulliver’s Travels”. It is a place I’m particularly fond of as my parents live not too far away and I went to junior school nearby so the gardens were my childhood happy hunting grounds after school. Even today they are a serious horticultural celebration with little commercialism and unlike Kew Gardens in London which charges a disgraceful £12.25 pounds entrance fee, here entry is free.









The Great Palm House



The Palm House Complex at the National Botanic Gardens, Glasnevin, Dublin, won a top European award for its restoration, the 2006 European Union Prize for Cultural Heritage / Europa Nostra Medal.



Dating from 1884, the Great Palm House at the National Botanic Gardens was magnificently and faithfully restored over a two year period by the Office of Public Works (OPW) until its completion and reopening in 2004.



Costing £800 when it was built in 1884, the Great Palm House, which was made of wood and iron, was prefabricated in the Scottish town of Paisley by James Boyd & Son. It was shipped to Ireland in pieces, then assembled on site: a Victorian flat-pack greenhouse, 65 feet high, 80 feet wide and 100 feet long. In 2004 it reopened to the public after a lengthy restoration which saw it dismantled, conserved and repaired and reassembled.





Scarecrow





Walk in Sepia









A River runs through it - The River Tolka and a canal run through the gardens providing extra visual interest













Venus Fly Trap



The Venus Flytrap, Dionaea muscipula, is a carnivorous plant that catches and digests animal prey—mostly insects and arachnids. Its trapping structure is formed by the terminal portion of each of the plant's leaves and is triggered by tiny hairs on their inner surfaces. When an insect or spider crawling along the leaves comes into contact with one or more of the hairs twice in succession, the trap closes. The requirement of redundant triggering in this mechanism serves as a safeguard against a waste of energy in trapping objects with no nutritional value.













Orchid



The orchid family includes 20,000 to 30,000 species and more than 70,000 hybrids or cultivars. The largest number, and most popular, come from Asia. South America is also rich in wild orchids.



Orchids have two main ways of growing:



Monopodial growth - one, usually upright, axis from which leaves appear.

Sympodial growth - the axis is a prostrate rhizome from which shoots appear. Many sympodials develop pseudobulbs, thickened shoots from which the leaves grow. These act as storage organs for water and nutrients.





Within these two broad groups, orchid can be narrowed down to four types:



Terrestrial orchids - have their roots in soil.

Climbing epiphytes - found in tree tops, with roots clinging to the bark to absorb nutrients and water.

Lithophytes - grow on rocks or in very little soil.

Saprophytes - get their nutrition from dead or decaying matter through symbiotic relationships with fungi.













Strelitzia



Strelitzia is a genus of five species of perennial plants, native to South Africa. The genus is named after the duchy of Mecklenburg-Strelitz, birthplace of Queen Charlotte of the United Kingdom, wife of George III. The common name of the genus is bird of paradise flower, because of a supposed resemblance of its flowers to the bird of paradise. In South Africa it is commonly known as a crane flower.









Sequoia



Sequoia sempervirens is the sole living species of the genus Sequoia in the cypress family Cupressaceae. Common names include Coast Redwood and California Redwood (it is one of three species of trees known as redwoods, but "redwood" per se normally refers to this species). It is an evergreen, long-lived, monoecious tree living for up to 2,200 years, and this species includes the tallest trees on Earth, reaching up to 115.5 m (379.1 ft) in height and 8 m (26 ft) diameter at breast height. It is native to coastal California and the south-western corner of Oregon within the United States. Sequoias are the oldest living species on the Earth.







The National Botanic Gardens at Glasnevin is Ireland's premier botanical and horticultural establishment and is a rewarding and attractive garden for gardeners and non-gardeners alike containing over 20,000 different plant species and cultivars including many exceptional specimens. It provides an excellent visitor attraction and an oasis of peace and tranquility a short distance from Dublin’s bustling city centre by taxi or on bus routes 11, 13 or 19. With its excellent visitor centre, restaurant and informative layout and signage it is a good place both to absorb the beauty of the gardens and recharge your own batteries.











National Botanic Gardens

Glasnevin

Dublin 9

Ireland.



Telephone No: + 353 1 804 0300

Fax No: + 353 1 836 0080



Website http://www.botanicgardens.ie





The bell which is rung from 15 minutes before closing time to warn visitors to leave

Dublin Tram Crash

At least 16 people have been injured following a collision between a double-decker bus and a Luas tram in Dublin city centre on the 16th September 2009.Two women and a man who were trapped on the vehicles have been cut free and rushed to hospital. Thirteen others were also wounded. The crash occurred at the junction of O'Connell Street and Abbey Street shortly before 3pm.

However as they say in Ireland “It is an ill horse that blows no wind” so as the picture shows Specsavers got some very context specific free advertising out of the incident! This photo has now become a big viral hit on the internet and Twitter.

However in these days of Photoshopping it pays to be a bit more sceptical and the comparison of the "Specsaver's" photo above with an original press photo of the incident below shows the Specsavers billboard has been photo shopped on afterwards. This is probably why there is an word for people who believe everything they see. Gullible!

Euston Arch

According to the London Evening Standard a nightclub and banqueting hall are to be built inside a reconstructed Victorian monument at Euston station under plans announced today. The Euston Arch stood in front of the station from 1838 until it was demolished by modernist town planners in 1962.

Built at Euston Grove, the station was for many years the only north-bound railway exit from London. Designed in the classical style, the most notable feature was the massive Doric Arch entrance. Euston Station was one of the glories of British railway architecture it served as the terminus for travellers to London from Birmingham and the North West. Its architecture, based on Greek temples, was deemed a fitting gateway to the capital and an introduction to the engineering marvels of the railway beyond.

Euston Station was the first mainline terminus station opened in a capital city anywhere in the world. It was opened on July 20, 1837, as the terminus of the London and Birmingham Railway constructed by Robert Stephenson. The architect was Philip Hardwick who worked with structural engineer Charles Fox. The station first had only two platforms, one for departures and one for arrivals.

It was also Hardwick who designed the Euston Arch, a 70 feet 6 inches high Doric propylaeum, the largest ever built and which formed the entrance to the station. The grit stone structure complemented the Ionic entrance to the Curzon Street Station in Birmingham (which still exists) which was the other end of the London and Birmingham Railway’s mainline.


Euston Station, 1851

Its demolition, with the rest of Euston Station was regarded as one of the greatest acts of Post-War architectural vandalism in Britain, the campaign to save it lead to the foundation of the Victorian Society and involved the indomitable Sir John Betjeman.

However British Rail’s cultural vandalism was worse than was realised even at the time. To block off any campaign to rebuild the Arch and despite an offer from the contractor to store the stonework British Rail demanded that it was all dumped and it has transpired the stones were thrown into a tributary of the river Lee in east London. This has now come to light as British Waterways has dredged the channel to salvage the discarded rock on behalf of the Euston Arch Trust as it carries out repair work to the waterways around the 2012 Olympic site. The stones are being lifted from the Prescott Channel, where they were used to fill a hole in the riverbed. Campaigners want to reconstruct the arch using as much of the original stone as possible.

Demolition was speedy and brutal - as recorded in various newsreel documentaries - with the stones being broken and much damaged as the arch was speedily cleared away. The new station was opened in 1968. Designed in the International Modern style, its somewhat bleak style has been variously described as "hideous", "a dingy, grey, horizontal nothingness", "an ugly desecration of a formerly impressive building", a reflection of "the tawdry glamour of its time" entirely lacking of "the sense of occasion, of adventure, that the great Victorian termini gave to the traveller", and "the worst of the Central London terminuses, both ugly and unfriendly to use". Writing in The Times, Richard Morrison stated that "even by the bleak standards of Sixties architecture, Euston is one of the nastiest concrete boxes in London: devoid of any decorative merit; seemingly concocted to induce maximum angst among passengers; and a blight on surrounding streets. The design should never have left the drawing-board - if, indeed, it was ever on a drawing-board. It gives the impression of having been scribbled on the back of a soiled paper bag by a thuggish android with a grudge against humanity and a vampiric loathing of sunlight".


Euston Station Today


The passenger friendly concourse?

Today’s Euston Station is a forgettable exercise in 1960’s functionalism except for the small matter that it doesn’t function very well on a number of levels. The windswept prairie in front of the station was the ostensible reason for the knocking down the Great Hall and Euston Arch to enhance the commercial value of the development. It contains two nondescript office blocks. One, 40 Melton Street, was the HQ of the much unlamented Railtrack which was the infrastructure company created at rail privatisation in April 1994. The other office block, conveniently, contains the office of a firm of accountants who wound them up when Railtrack went into administration in October 2001. They have now been succeeded by Network rail who are in the same offices.

Now walk across the windswept prairie into Euston and judge for yourself this “functional” station. You will see an expanse of cold, black stone flooring and everywhere you will see passengers camped out on this cold surface for there are hardly any seats for the thousands who must wait here. Whatever coherence the concourse had has been lost by the mish mash of tacky kiosks and retail outlets as Network Rail ”adds value” by increasing rental returns at the expense of passenger convenience. Go into the food court and you will see a place overflowing with passengers looking for seats whilst they enjoy the fast food delights on offer. Pay to use the toilets which reflect the municipal toilet ethos of the rest of the station. Disabled? Well, don’t bother trying to access the Virgin executive lounge or the Britannia Bar on the first floor as Network Rail ignores here (as elsewhere) its legal obligations since October 2004 under phase 3 of the Disability Discrimination Act.


One of the remaining gatehouses with the destinations inscribed on the quoins

Far better to leave now before you become too depressed and at the front onto Euston Road you will find all that remains of the Great Terminus which once stood here. In the centre is the war memorial and on either side are two decorative gatehouses with the destinations served carved into their quoin stones. These framed the Doric Arch and the only evidence of this is on the sign of the pub on the forecourt, ironic indeed as this was also part of the “commercial development” which required it to be demolished. Here too you will find the statue of the engineer for the lines into Euston, Robert Stephenson, known as the Father of the Railways. There is no history of weeping statues in front of train stations but as he surveys the mediocre morass for which history was swept away we could allow Robert a few tears.


Euston Arch stonework being recovered from the River Lee, East London

Now the trust has unveiled a £10 million design to rebuild the 70ft arch on the original site with a nightclub in the foundations and lifts rising up the pillars to the banqueting hall, seating 80. Buses and taxis will be able to drive through it.

"The Euston Arch was a powerful symbol of the optimistic spirit of the Victorian railway. Its demolition in the 1960's confirmed that blandness and lack of imagination had replaced the heroic vision of the past. Since then, the enormous popularity of the restored St. Pancras, soon to be followed by a restored King's Cross, has shown that celebration of the past and potential for the future is not mutually exclusive. The restoration of Euston Arch would restore to London's oldest mainline terminus some of the character and dignity of its great neighbours."

Michael Palin, Patron of the Euston Arch Trust

The Euston Arch Trust has as its patron Michael Palin who I met once and whilst he is famous as a world traveller as well as a member of the famous Monty Python comedy team he broke into a smile when I mentioned that I had a copy of his first every travel documentary “From Euston to the Kyle of Lochalsh.” For Michael is at heart a Sheffield lad from a railway family so his commitment to trains and public transport goes back some time. As the Euston Arch Trust says on its site;

“Network Rail and British Land have announced that they will redevelop Euston Station in a £1 billion project. This is a golden opportunity to rebuild the arch and return to Euston, the local community, London and Britain a building of major importance that should never have been demolished.


Great Hall


Platform in Euston Station before redevelopment

The redevelopment of St Pancras station has already shown how a world class station can combine the old and new. Euston can do the same. The Euston Arch would be a wonderful gateway to the new Euston. “

http://daithaic.blogspot.com/2007/11/st-pancras-reborn.html

Historian Dan Cruickshank, who has led a 15-year campaign to reconstruct the monument, described it as "the first great building of the railway age". In 1994 Cruickshank discovered an estimated 60% of the 4,000 plus tons of the arch buried in the bed of the Prescott Channel at its junction with the Channelsea River that runs into the River Lea in the East End of London. A section of one of the columns was recovered from the river. The location of the rubble, for which he had been searching for 15 years, had been revealed by Bob Cotton, a British Waterways engineer, who stated that the rubble had been purchased in 1962 to fill a chasm in the bed of the Prescott Channel.


Curzon Street Station, Birmingham

The possible rebuilding of the Euston Arch should throw light on another of the threatened glories of railway history because the Arch was one of two “bookends” the other being the complementary Ionic Arch at the other end of the line in Birmingham. For in the Curzon Street Station you have arguably the oldest mainline rail terminus building in the world. It was here on 17th September 1838 that the first London to Birmingham train arrived at the very birth of railways. Built to the designs of Sir Philip Hardwick the architect of Euston Station, London, it echoed his magnificent design there which was so crassly demolished in 1962. It was designed in the style of a triumphant Roman Arch to echo his Euston Arch and provided two dramatic visual bookends to the first railway route between London and a major city. This Grade 1 listed building is currently unoccupied and at risk.

http://daithaic.blogspot.com/2009/04/birmingham-centre-of-england.html

The London to Birmingham Railway was the first rail service between two major cities and the muscular classical architecture was deliberately designed to give an impression of solidity and continuity to a public distrustful of this new fangled technology. They were visual propaganda for the technology which changed the world and made modern life possible and the propaganda was never more confident than Philip Hardwick’s two magnificent emphatic statements of Victorian confidence announcing the new world to the citizens of London and Birmingham. Let us rebuild the Euston Arch and save Curzon Street station as two interlinked and priceless pieces of this great Industrial Heritage. Maybe when this is done a smile may cross the face of the “Father of the Railways” Robert Stephenson whose statue in front of Euston Station has surveyed with a stern frown the architectural detritus which replaced the great triumphal entrance which met travellers to London.


Robert Stephenson, Father of the Railways

See also;

The Great Circle Line Journey

http://daithaic.blogspot.com/2008/01/great-circle-line-journey.html

Euston Arch Trust

http://www.eustonarch.org


Euston Arch 1938

A Wandering Sage

1. Aswan, Egypt


2. Marrakech, Morocco


3. Salzburg, Austria


4. Prague, Czech Republic


5. Oxford, United Kingdom


6. Arras, France


7. Lubeck, Germany


8. Kalimnos, Greece


9. Ithaca, Greece


10. Lixouri, Greece


11. Amalfi, Italy


12. Ravello, Italy


13. Wiltz, Luxembourg


14. Turin, Italy


15. Monchique, Portugal


16. La Orotava, Spain


17. Kandersteg, Switzerland


18. Niagara-on-the-Lake, Canada


19. Quebec City, Canada


20. Bridgetown, Barbados


21. Chicago, IL, USA

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Clarenbridge Oyster Festival

Ostrea edulis - Irish Native Oyster



"Tis a brave man who first eat an oyster!" so said my townsman Jonathan Swift Dean of St. Patrick's Cathedral, Dublin and I’m in a position to verify many still feel this way for Oysters are like Marmite, you either love them or hate them!



It's the luck of the Irish to have the world's finest oysters on its shores; we are also privileged to have two highly successful Oyster Festivals in September each year, in celebration of the beginning of the native oyster season. They are both held close to the Oyster Beds in Galway Bay, one in early September behind Paddy Burke’s Pub in the village of Clarenbridge and at the end of the month in Galway City. As delicacies go, Ostrea edulis, our native oyster, it is a strange animal - it changes sex every so often, is highly susceptible to disease or poor water quality, and between May and August is, due to spawning, absolutely inedible. Come September, however, O edulis settles down and is ready to grace the gourmet's gullet once more.



“What can be more foolish than to think that all this rare fabric of heaven and earth could come by chance, when all the skill of art is not able to make an oyster?”



Anatole France (French Writer, member of the French Academy and Nobel Prize for Literature in 1921)



Oysters have been eternally hailed as a precious gourmet delight by food lovers throughout the centuries, beginning with the Roman emperors who paid for them by their weight in gold. The Greeks served them with wine and the Romans were so enthusiastic about these marvellous molluscs that they sent thousands of slaves to the shores of the English Channel to gather them.



Their association with love is inexorable. The story goes that the word “aphrodisiac” was born when Aphrodite, the Greek goddess of love, emerged from the sea on an oyster shell and gave birth to Eros. Her charismatic lover Casanova also used to start a meal eating 12 dozen oysters. So, whether Oysters make people fall in love with each other, there are certainly many people who have fallen in love with Oysters.









Oysters at work?



Ernest Hemingway describes his love of Oysters:



“As I ate the oysters with their strong taste of the sea and their faint metallic taste that the cold white wine washed away, leaving only the sea taste and the succulent texture, and as I drank their cold liquid from each shell and washed it down with the crisp taste of the wine, I lost the empty feeling and began to be happy and to make plans.”





The Festival Marquee





The Oyster Queen



The festival I was heading to was the one in early September which is somewhat smaller and more homely in the village of Clarenbridge. Created in 1954 and still going strong, this festival has become an integral part of life in the picturesque village of Clarenbridge in the south of County Galway. West of the village lies Dunbulcan Bay, where the oysters are produced - some say they are the best in the world. Protected by the bay from the force of Atlantic storms, the 700 acres of beds lie in an ideal mixture of fresh and sea water vital for perfect oyster development, taking from three to five years to grow for consumption. Over 100,000 oysters are eaten during the weekend celebration. The festival programme includes a market day, golf tournaments, yacht races, art and photographic exhibitions, a fine wine and gourmet evening, talks and lectures and the best-dressed-lady competition. The main emphasis, however, is on providing guests with a culinary experience that they will enjoy. This is a tradition in existence since 1954 when the great Paddy Burke hosted the first Clarenbridge Oyster Festival.





The River Claren



A lot has changed since the first festival but the philosophy remains the same. The Clarenbridge Oyster festival is a celebration of the native Oyster, of the history of the village and of the energy of a vibrant and modern day community respecting tradition. The Gala Day we attended on Saturday begins at 16.30 and ends after midnight so the 75 Euros ticket covered 8 hours of non- stop entertainment including the coronation of the Oyster Queen, Traditional Dancing, The Whiskey River Band and the Celebrity Beatles. This is not a commercial event run for tourists but a long running festival organised by a voluntary committee so after 55 years they must be doing something right. Around 1,000 attend the Gala Day and it has something of an infectious atmosphere in the main marquee, on the riverside terrace and the other outdoor areas. You are welcomed with a champagne reception and each ticket entitles you to the main event, half a dozen fresh local Oysters. As well as that the food offer is generous with chowder, seafood buffet, a hot dish, two glasses of wine and a hot meal in the evening. One criticism is that the wine was a sweet white wine which was all wrong; the seafood dishes required a dry white wine.





The Whiskey River Band







Niggles apart the food, drink and entertainment makes for a convivial and good humoured day and lively dancing on the dance floor by the time proceedings come to an end. Visitors might be surprised that this is not a dress down affair, indeed somewhat the opposite. The locals dress up to the nines and there is both a best dressed lady and gentleman at the festival , a hotly contested prize. And one final note of gaiety; At the beginning of the festival the Irish Cannonball Run stopped by; 194 top line motors (Ferrari, Porsches, Rollers, etc) spending 3 days haring around Ireland!





Irish Cannonball Run



On the way back to Clare next morning we turned off the main road just past Clarenbridge to Kilcolgan and headed towards another favourite watering hole and seafood emporium which overlooks the famous Oyster beds. Moran's Oyster Cottage, The Weir, Kilcolgan, Co. Galway, dates back almost three hundred years and although Moran's is still a family owned business, today it is run by Vincent Graham who has been with the Moran family for over 25 years. It is renowned the world over for its superb seafood which attracts people from the five continents, and is open all year round. With its picturesque thatch and menu of simple, high quality seafood served with good Guinness it has a devoted following from the days when one of the local inhabitants, film director John Huston who lived in Craughwell, dropped in.





Morans of the Weir







In the words of Raymond Rodgers of the London "Daily Mail", "I came to Ireland in search of wild fowl, and found Moran's, you have sparked life for me - never again will oysters taken with crumbly brown bread, washed down with foamy cream-headed pints of Guinness, ever taste the same. And your smoked salmon is the nature of Gods".



Noel Coward has been here before me and had scribbled a couple of witty ditties on his napkin which is now an inscription on the wall at Moran's Oyster Cottage which ends with an apt warning;



'Tis long ago that Oysters were the pride of Moran's Bar.

But when you eat the Oysters here today,

You know they still are.

And it will be forever so, in years they will taste the same.

And little children not yet born

will know why Granddad came.

So have another dozen, and then have another drink.

And thank the Lord for Oysters

- since it's later than you think!'



Noel O'Coward



The Clarenbridge oyster bed is situated at the mouths of the Dunkellin and Clarenbridge rivers. It consists of 700 acres of sea-bed. Oyster beds require a combination of fresh and sea water. Therefore they will only survive where a river enters the sea. If there is an excessive amount of fresh water, for example, after a season of heavy rainfall, the oyster will become too fat and open.



The Clarenbridge Oyster Bed is a natural bed. It is not cultivated in any way. The dredging season lasts from late November to the end of December. It is dredged every year by about 60 boats each having two people. These people would be local farmers. During dredging, oysters less than 3" in diameter must be cast back into the sea again so that the stocks would not be diminished. Oysters are bought by about five local dealers - each of these would own their own private steeping ground. They in turn meet the demand from restaurants in the area and the export market to France, England, etc.





Paddy Burke's



Oysters have existed since pre-historic times. The Saxons enjoyed them before the Romans invaded Britain and there are those that would say it was for their excellent oysters that they invaded at all! Throughout their history, oysters have been regarded as a luxury but due to over-fishing the price dropped so low that at the beginning of the 19th Century they became the food of the poor. During the famine year’s people who lived near the sea survived on them. In about 1850, oyster culture started to become an industry and legislation in France and Britain protected the stocks.



Oysters are a bi-valve mollusc which means that they are shellfish with two hearts. Every year they change sex - in fact every other year they can be a father and mother to two separate litters in the same year! They feed by pumping 1-6 litres of water through their gills every day - the equivalent of a human drinking a large public swimming pool every day.







Ostrea edulis, the gourmet's favourite, also known as the European Flat Oyster, is the oyster which is native to our Irish shores. Long ago there was an abundance of these oysters and they were a readily available source of free food during the Great Famine. The Romans also had a great love for the edulis oyster so much so that they used to pay for them by their weight in gold. Today Native oysters are considered to be a great luxury due to being a relatively scarce species. They are in season from September to April when there is an 'R' in the month.



So if you are in Ireland in September when there is first an “R” in the month go for the real thing, Native Irish Oysters at the Clarenbridge or Galway Oyster Festivals or enjoy them and other fresh Irish Seafood at Paddy Burkes in Clarenbridge or Morans of the Weir in Kilcolgan.









Clarenbridge Oyster Festival

Stradbally, Clarenbridge, County Galway, Ireland

Tel +353 (0)91 796 766.



Email; info@clarenbridge.com



Website; www.clarenbridge.com



Galway Oyster Festival www.galwayoysterfest.com



Paddy Burkes www.paddyburkesgalway.com



Morans of the Weir www.moransoystercottage.com



Irish Cannonball Run www.cannonball.ie



See also; Coole Park, Co. Galway



http://daithaic.blogspot.com/2009/09/coole-park-galway.html





Mouth of the Dunkellin River with the Oyster Beds in sight of Morans of the Weir



Oysters by Jonathan Swift



Charming oysters I cry:

My masters, come buy,

So plump and so fresh,

So sweet is their flesh,

No Colchester oyster

Is sweeter and moister:

Your stomach they settle,

And rouse up your mettle:

They'll make you a dad

Of a lass or a lad;

And madam your wife

They'll please to the life;

Be she barren, be she old,

Be she slut, or be she scold,

Eat my oysters, and lie near her,

She'll be fruitful, never fear her.



Jonathan Swift (1667 – 1745)