Showing posts with label Kate and Wills. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Kate and Wills. Show all posts

Wednesday, April 27, 2011

One’s first wedding


The soon to be new Duke and Duchess of somewhere

Verily I have refrained with all my R(r)epublican fibre from commenting on the “Great Event.” But the demand for information on the Royal Wedding has been insatiable, particularly from my Blogistas across the pond who previously rejected the tea and taxes of Farmer George and his rapacious redcoats. Ever since I revealed my chance meeting with Wills and Kate (at Marylebone Station of all places!) and then, in a moment of untypical hubris precipitated by The Royal Magic, revealed that One was invited to the Great Event I have been deluged with requests for snippets of Royal Fairy dust to share with my impoverished readers. It is with no great pride I must report to you that, by popular acclamation, I have been made into that strangest of creatures, A Royal Expert!


Metal detectors and barriers on the streets leading to the Abbey.

So as the wedding of Price William and Kate Middleton approaches London’s streets and corners are being gradually doused in red, white and blue. In the lead up to April 29th, flags, bunting - and, increasingly, people decked out with Union Jack emblazoned t-shirts, umbrellas and picnic blankets - are colouring-in the areas around Westminster Abbey and Buckingham Palace with. Soon we can look forward to vox pop interviews with toothless grannies in Union Jack T-shirts camping out on pavements to get the best view telling us “it’s luverley innit, it’s something we’ll remember for the rest of our loives, or seven days, whichever is longer!”


The Pearly King of Wandsworth displaying his Cockney charm to a motorist in front of the Abbey

Rather than Canute like resistance to the Royal Curiosity I decided to give in to the flowing tide and sate my Blogistas with details of the Great Event which, let’s face it many of them are paying for. So dejected, hunched of shoulders and shuffling of foot, I took myself the whole five minutes from my office to Westminster Abbey to record the burgeoning preparations for the 29th April in London. You soon realise this is theatre performed by the world’s press but with an edge. Part of the edge is security and the first thing you notice is metal detectors and car bomb proof barriers set up in a ring of steel around the Abbey. Indeed in the days before the wedding even residents of the area have to remove their cars to facilitate the cordon sanitaire which surrounds the event as the Great and Good and dubious rulers from dictatorships around the world make their way to the Abbey.


Horse drawn tourists soaking up The Royal Magic


The flag of Saint Edward the Confessor flying over Westminster Abbey. He founded the Abbey and his shrine and tomb are at the centre of the Abbey in their own chapel. He was one of the last Anglo-Saxon kings of England and is usually regarded as the last king of the House of Wessex, ruling from 1042 to 1066. Once Patron Saint of England (before St. George) he is the Patron Saint of the Royal Family. This is the flag which is flown except when the Queen is in the Abbey when the Royal Standard is flown. The Abbey is a "Royal Peculiar", under the personal control of The Crown and the clergy are appointed by The Queen, not by the Archbishop of Canterbury, head of the Church of England.

Two people who won’t be making their way there are former LABOUR Prime Ministers Tony Blair and Gordon Brown. This appears particularly ungracious as Tony Blair probably single handedly saved the monarchy after their insensitivity after the death of Princess “The People’s Princess” Diana outraged the world. What we are seeing being played out in London in the run up to this wedding is not really the “Royal Magic” but the “D Factor.” The D Factor is that this is William, the son of Diana, Prince of Wales, who is getting married in the same church where her brother Charles’s Spencer thundered in his polemical eulogy on September 6 1997;

“Diana was the very essence of compassion, of duty, of style, of beauty. All over the world she was a symbol of selfless humanity, a standard-bearer for the rights of the truly downtrodden, a very British girl who transcended nationality. Someone with a natural nobility who was classless and who proved in the last year that she needed no royal title to continue to generate her particular brand of magic.”

Earl Spencer’s words seem slight on their own but in the context of the Life and Death of 36 year old Diana Spencer they were explosive. Knowing what had transpired in Diana's life - the betrayal shortly after her marriage by the man she loved, her divorce, the removal of her title and the apparent coldness of the royal family towards her - you begin to see the real meaning behind the words. Spencer stressed that his sister was essentially a British girl, a definition surely aimed at the German background of the royals. She no longer needed, he said, a royal title (earlier removed) to generate her particular brand of magic.





The Royal Family sat stunned and humiliated at this searing condemnation but worse was to come as the funeral service inside the Abbey was interrupted by the sheer crescendo of applause coming through the thick stone walls of the Abbey. The people had spoken and were with Earl Spencer. Tony Blair saved their bacon and the lead head courtiers and flunkeys surrounding the Royal Family don’t even invite him but have room for the Ambassador of Zimbabwe and the Ruler of Bahrain, fresh from throttling pro-democracy protesters?




A reporter in front of the Abbey bringing the joyful news to the world

It is that brand of Diana’s magic being perpetuated today and is the reason that the streets of London are choked with visitors and TV crews from around the world. This does not come cheap; want a photographer to stand on scaffolding on the roof of Methodist Central Hall overlooking the Abbey, that will be £900 for the day. Want a temporary studio in front of Buckingham Palace, that will £60,000 and the lead heads of the Palace will turn off the floodlighting on the facade at 12.30 just as the breakfast bulletins start in New York.




Buck House and the press centre in front of it from which the world will receive detailed analysis of the spontaneous balcony kiss

I saw myself in Westminster light standards and manhole covers being checked and locked days before he was due and whole roads were closed off. At Westminster Abbey Police snipers were on neighbouring rooftops and a search team with 4 sniffer dogs searched the Abbey beforehand. Hidden automatic TV cameras are in the stonework on either side of the Abbey’s Great West Door through which the couple will emerge and the stone dais in front of them is in fact scaffolding for more cameras. Meanwhile the Abbey resembles a giant wiring loom as it is cabled up for the event.


A tasteful selection of priceless memorabilia

Early risers in London were given a sneak preview of the pomp and grandeur to expect on Friday as up to a thousand members of the military carried out a pre-dawn royal wedding dress rehearsal. The full-scale walk through in preparation for the royal wedding of Prince William and Kate Middleton saw British Army, Navy and RAF members lining the route the couple will take to and from Westminster Abbey. Participants wore full military dress, but marching bands refrained from playing their instruments as the whole exercise was complete before 6.30am.


The pre-dawn royal wedding dress rehearsal

The eyes of the world will be on Prince William and Kate Middleton when they begin their journeys to and from Westminster Abbey. So nothing is being left to chance with the dry run in which timings were tested to the second and all armed forces taking part got the chance to practise their role in their service uniforms.


Remote control cameras being set up in alcoves by The Great West Door of the Abbey

The coverage of Kate Middleton’s family, who seem hardworking and decent, has been patronising and nauseous imbued with class snobbery - it is not as if they are from Wolverhampton! I already feel sorry for the girl as when she goes into a shop every item is plastered over the pages the next day as it seems the Press think her function in life is to be a clothes horse. But who is Kate Middleton who went to a £29,000 a year private school and a prestige University where (like Prince William) she studied “History of Art.” What is this onerous subject for it must have been so difficult as to cure them of their illness as neither of them has shown the slightest artistic inclinations since?




The front and back of Ye Olde Stone camera stand in front of The Great West Door of Westminster Abbey, from which Mr. Prince and Consort will emerge

But who is Kate Middleton for we have no idea of her views on anything for we have never heard her speak or give the slightest pretence at an interview. Like William’s great grandfather George VI in “The King’s Speech” she surely has a voice but we have not heard it?








Westminster Abbey - At £16 entrance charge God and Mammon live in harmony?

And just what is silent Kate getting herself into by joining “The Firm.” In these days of diversity and inclusion we should remind ourselves of a certain institutional prejudice on the part of the British state. The Statute Law of England, in the Act of the Williamite Succession, describes the Pope as “An Anti-Christ and Object of Perdition” – In this of course it is repeating the words of the same King Guy Fawkes attempted to blow up along with his parliament, James VI of Scotland and I of England in his preamble to the official bible of the Church of England, the “King James” Bible. His mummy, Mary Queen of Scots, would have been very cross with him if she had not been beheaded by his predecessor, Elizabeth I. James I of England (James VI of Scotland) will be at the wedding as he is buried in Westminster Abbey between the bodies of two of his male “suitors.” This somewhat inaccurate tract translated from the Greek and Hebrew is 400 years old this year and is hailed as a masterpiece of English literature responsible for the spread of the English Language around the world. Be that as may be did the words of simple fishermen of Galilee require poetic embellishment?




Press and photo stands in front of Westminster Abbey

More seriously, the same act prohibits both the Sovereign or their Consort from being Catholic or the heir to the throne and their Consort. It goes further and says that neither the Sovereign’s First and Second Lords of the Treasury (namely the Prime Minister and The Chancellor of the Exchequer) nor The Lord Chancellor (The head of the English legal system and successor in office of Sir Thomas More) can be Catholics thus institutionalising sectarianism at the very centre of the British state and legitimising the somewhat snide anti-Catholicism still fashionable in some quarters. They of course can be any other religion or indeed none but they cannot be Catholics. It remains to be seen if Queen Catherine will stay with The Firm, which doesn’t have a good recruiting record, and if the lead heads surrounding the Monarchy will get with the agenda of the modern world. You will need to look elsewhere for updates on these issues.


Royal Wedding Route

Let’s take a look at the route that Kate Middleton will take on her way to Westminster Abbey to her wedding on April 29, 2011 and the schedule for the “big day.”

10:30am – The Princess-to-be and Prince William will leave travel separately to the service. Kate will go by car starting from either Buckingham Palace or Clarence House and head along the Mall, cross the Horse Guards Parade and head towards Parliament Square.

11:00am - The ceremony will start at Westminster Abbey which can hold up to 2,200 guests.

12:00pm – At noon the couple will return along the same route via horse-drawn carriage.

12:30pm – The couple, after being wed by the Archbishop of Canterbury, will go to Buckingham Palace after the ceremony by carriage along a route which will include sights like Parliament Square, Whitehall, Horse Guards Parade and the Mall. Once inside the Queen will throw a reception, a fancy one as you can imagine, for the couple and 700 of their friends and family.

1:30pm - Kate and Will are expected to make an appearance on a balcony at Buckingham Palace to kiss for the cameras.

6:00pm – After the “official reception” the couple will enjoy a private dinner with the Prince of Wales… dancing of course will follow.


For now my dear Blogistas whatever side you are on do your best to get through this coming Friday.

Here, for you, are the amazing details of One’s chance meeting with Wills and Kate @ Marylebone Station

http://daithaic.blogspot.com/2011/02/wills-and-kate-marylebone.html

And, even more unbelievable, the details of One’s invitation!

http://daithaic.blogspot.com/2011/03/one-is-invited.html


And, this is truly unbelievable, exclusive advance shots of the ceremony!






Thursday, March 10, 2011

One is invited!


One's majestic invitation

One is acutely embarrassed for had one not promised One’s Blogistas no more on *The Royal Wedding*? Then one’s principles go out the open window in the West Wing of one’s Castle for one receives unexpectedly one’s invitation to the Great Event which will cheer up Britannia and make it feel at ease with itself. When one has been subjected to the *Royal Magic* what is one to do?



With one being a republican with both a big and a small R the Celtic Sage is hardly an admirer of The British Crown. How could one be given their history in Ireland and one's belief that it is the people who are sovereign – One believes in being a citizen, one is not a subject?

Indeed one is also aware that the term “British” is somewhat of a misnomer. For the Britons were a Celtic people and one resents that strange union of two Low German Tribes, the Anglo-Saxons, expropriating the term used by Queen Boadicea and other true Britons to legitimise their Germanic hegemony. However they did give England its name, its language, its boundaries and its character so one must not be too intolerant – that in itself would be Germanic! But since poor King Harold bit ye Hastings dust in 1066 there have been no English Sovereign’s of England. There have been Norman French, Plantagenet French, Welsh Tudors, Scottish Stuarts, Dutch Orange Nassau’s and lastly German Hanover’s who have today (with only partial success) rebadged themselves as Windsor’s after toying for a while under Victoria with the snappy Saxe-Coburg Gotha!


One's son (say no more!) and grandson

So now one is left with important choices between now and the Great Event on the 29th April. One perforce must accept for one is commanded! But after that what is one to wear, Uniform, Morning Coat or Lounge Suit? If one chooses uniform is one to wear Kilt, Military, Boy Scout or Nurse? What does one give as a present? Diego Garcia has already been given to the Yankee Colonists despite their disloyalty to Farmer George, the Punjab is just not the same after partition and Ireland has already been given to the IMF and the European Central Bank? The invitation is also not just for one’s self but also for one’s Consort. But does one bring one’s Official Consort or one’s unofficial Consort? Tricky one this, one must take advice from an expert like HRH Prince Andrew who is presently reconnecting with the people of this United Kingdom after losing his Air Miles Card.



No doubt one will be pressurised to share the base cynicism of the vulgar press about the Royal Guffitis between now and Friday April 29th as the Royal Propaganda machine and its fellow travellers gets into “God Bless you Ma’am “mode with every inconsequential detail puffed up for posterity. No doubt the low point for one will be when the leaders of the ConDem Coalition Dave “Common Man” Cameron and Nick Clog take time off from Nation Breaking to jointly broadcast that they are sharing “The Joy of the Nation!” However now one has an invitation one will have no truck with such proletarian rabble who should be transported to the colonies without delay for one is now different. One is invited!

One's chance meeting with Wills and Kate at Marylebone Station

http://daithaic.blogspot.com/2011/02/wills-and-kate-marylebone.html


One's future Head of the Firm and Consort

Indeed speaking of the aforementioned Republic of Éire one is gratified that her Britannic Majesty is visiting that benighted Isle with its equally benighted people, the first visit by the head of the firm in 100 years. Indeed one is confident Her Majesty will ignore the Little Leprechaun carping of a person with a beard (never a good sign) called Gaddafi Adams who meanly whines;

“There are still a lot of legacy issues that need to be resolved. I don't think this is the right time for the English queen to come here. I don't think we can afford it, apart from anything else. As we continue to build a new dispensation, then all of those things are possible, but not now.”


Gaddafi Adams leader of the group renamed "Gerry and the Peacemakers." Note the dreadful beard, one should never have one unless one is in the Navy.


Indeed one suspects with Gaddafi Adams timing is everything. A time to kill, a time to live, a time to bomb, a time to vote, a time to be a Fascist, a time to be a Democrat, a time for an Armalite, a time for the ballot box, a time for War, a time for Peace. One would not be surprised if the Provisional Shinners had as one’s slogan for the unwashed masses “One’s time is come.”

But truly one does not care for truly one is invited. One is most gratified!

See the story of the "Great Day."

http://daithaic.blogspot.com/2011/04/ones-first-wedding.html





One's ancestor Queen Victoria visiting the Celts

Monday, February 14, 2011

Wills and Kate @ Marylebone



Imagine the shock innocent commuters got this dreary Monday morning to be greeted at Marylebone by the couple of the moment Big Willie and Kate “Party Plan” Middleton giving out chocolates for Valentines Day!

http://daithaic.blogspot.com/2010/02/st-valentine-in-dublin.html

Well they were entirely passable look a likes but the “Railway Eye” Blog (thank you for the photo) gives them the “Piss poor PR” award on the grounds that Chiltern Railways owners are German, it being run by DBahn or German State Railways to you and me. Can’t see the problem myself as in the immortal words of the late Dame Barbara Cartland “They are all Germans! That’s why the Royal Family didn’t understand Diana, because they are Germans!” The Great Pink Dame was Diana’s step-Grandmother, in itself a strange concept.



The Great Pink Dame


Wills and Kate, for real


Wills and Kate, not for real

For my part I would have been more impressed if Chiltern applied some Germanic rigour to their maintenance, particularly on the ropey 165 Stock, and I had not been delayed getting into Marylebone by “unit failure”, again!

http://daithaic.blogspot.com/2010/08/deutsche-bahn-chiltern-railways.html

No doubt there will be much more Royal Guffitis between now and Friday April 29th as the Royal Propaganda machine and its fellow travellers gets into “God Bless you Ma’am “mode with every inconsequential detail puffed up for posterity. No doubt the low point will be when the leaders of the ConDem Coalition Dave “Common Man” Cameron and Nick Clog take time off from Nation Breaking to jointly broadcast that they are sharing “The Joy of the Nation!” However now one has an invitation one will have no truck with such proletarian rabble that should be transported to the colonies without delay for one is now different. One is invited!

http://daithaic.blogspot.com/2011/03/one-is-invited.html



This lifelike (sic) stand-up cardboard cut out can be yours for £9.95. Avoid disappointment - don't delay!

If you require an emergency injection of Royal Nausea yourself you can buy a life size Wills and Kate cut-out or even a Royal Comic Book from the site below, one of many such tasteful outfits.In deference to the sensitivities of my regular Blogistas, this will be my first and last post on the "Great Event."

http://www.theroyalweddingwilliamkate.com/

See also the story of "The Great Day"

http://daithaic.blogspot.com/2011/04/ones-first-wedding.html